How It Feels to Constantly Chase Validation and Ways to Find Freedom

The Endless Chase for Approval

When we look outside ourselves for approval, we place the state of our being in someone else’s hands. 

It feels like running in circles.

Checking your phone for likes.

Waiting for a reply that proves you matter.

Replaying conversations in your head to see if you sounded okay.

Holding back from sharing your opinion at work in case someone disagrees.

Changing how you dress or speak just to fit in.

Swiping endlessly on dating apps, hoping someone’s interest will validate your existence.

And yet, never arriving at peace. 

Imagine stepping off that treadmill completely and taking a breath.

Notice what opens up when you ask yourself:

What am I making so vital about other people’s approval that I won’t choose my own knowing?

Why We Seek Validation

At its core, the reason we seek approval comes from learned beliefs that we are separate and not enough.

In everyday terms, it shows up as feeling left out, different, or disconnected from others (separation) and believing we don’t measure up or are missing something (inadequacy).

For example, you might stay quiet in a meeting so others won’t judge you, wait for likes on social media to feel 'good enough', or hold back from making a decision until a friend reassures you.

These everyday moments show how easily we hand our power over to outside approval.

Here’s another hidden reason we keep chasing approval: we often avoid fully owning our inner awareness and choice because that means taking 100% responsibility for ourselves.

Owning it means stepping into the reality of being fully ourselves without leaning on outside approval. 

Ways to Find More Freedom to Be You 

1. Spend Time in Nature
   Step outside and let yourself be with the trees, the sky, the earth.
   

   Allow nature to remind you of your unique vibration.

2. Validate Yourself First
   Be your own biggest fan. Celebrate your wins, all of them big or small, and talk to yourself like your best friend.

3. Lean Into Your Capacity for Choice
   The more you back your own decisions, the less you’ll care about who approves.

4. Trust Your Judgment
   Stop second-guessing. Pause before asking for external input and check in: What's true for me here?
   

   Each time you listen to your knowing, it gets stronger.
   

5. Create for Joy, instead of Approval
   Every choice you make creates something new in your life, so why not let it be more of what you truly want?

   
   Please create for the joy of it, not for claps or likes.

6. Own Your Worth
   Only you get to decide your value.
   Stop waiting for applause or permission—you are (more than) worthy just as you are.
   

7. Practice Self-Compassion
   Be kind to yourself at all times.
   Take each moment to learn more about yourself and move on. Speak to yourself with compassion and love and remind yourself daily: I am (more than) enough.
   

8. Release Comparison
   We all express a unique vibration that is a specific contribution (AKA gift) to the universe.
   Instead of measuring yourself against others, get curious about the distinct frequency you are.
   

9. Allow What Is
   Welcome every awareness (AKA thoughts, feelings & emotions) as energy moving through you.
   
   From this awareness, you gain clarity to choose what aligns with what is true for you.
   
   

Embrace Your True Frequency

Each of us is a reality unto ourselves.

The simple fact that you, me, and all of us are here means the collective is already becoming greater.

When you embrace who we are, we don’t just free ourselves—we expand what’s possible for everyone.

Chasing validation dissolves when we recognise we were never lacking. 

We are already whole, already connected, already free. 

From that awareness, we create from joy rather than fear. 

What new realities could open up if we gave ourselves permission to be more of who we truly are?

What if that choice opened the door to living as ourselves in a way that feels lighter, more authentic, and free from unnecessary suffering?

Freedom arises by allowing ourselves to be more of who we already are.

What if you are far greater than you’ve ever acknowledged? What if freedom is simply the choice to be infinitely you?

Your Next Step

Take a moment today to notice where you are chasing approval. 

Pause, breathe, and ask yourself: If I followed my own knowing right now, what would I choose? 

Start with one small choice that feels aligned with you, and let that be the first step toward living free of validation.

If you’d like support to explore this more deeply, book a session and create more space to discover what freedom feels like for you.