The nervous system impact of learning to suppress YOU.

You’re five years old. Holding something you love. Someone else wants it—and the adult in the room gently says, “Don’t be selfish. Share.”

So you do.

And your body tightens.
Something contracts—quietly, quickly, completely.

It may seem like a tiny moment. But in that instant, something gets learned: Choosing for you isn’t safe. 

That message doesn’t stay in your mind—it takes root in your body.

When Words Become Body Patterns

Many of us were taught to make others comfortable at our own expense.

We weren’t told to ignore our needs.
We were just rewarded when we did.
We weren’t told to shrink.
We were just praised for being “good.”

Over time, our bodies got the message. Every time we silenced our yes or swallowed our no, we trained ourselves to contract. To hold back. To override.

And those patterns? They stay—until we notice them.

How This Lives in Your Body

Maybe your chest tightens when you speak up.
Maybe your stomach flips when you ask for something.
Maybe your throat closes when you try to say no.

These aren’t flaws. They’re signals. Your body isn’t wrong—it’s just repeating what it once believed was safe.

And what if that belief doesn’t need to run your life anymore?

What If It’s Not Even Yours?

So many of these messages—like “Don’t be selfish”—were never truly ours. They were absorbed. Taken on. Inherited.

They’re energetic patterns picked up from others that keep you looping in limitation. Phrases like:

• “Don’t be selfish.”

• “Put others first.”

• “Be a good girl/boy.”

They carry energy. And when you buy them as true, your body stores them as tension, contraction, and self-doubt. 

That moment you ignored you to please someone else? That wasn't you—that was programming.

And programming creates somatic patterns.

Sometimes we’re carrying responses that don’t belong to us. Sometimes the resistance isn’t even about what’s happening now—it’s echoing from something unspoken long ago.

You don’t have to analyse it.
You don’t have to fix it.
You can simply notice it—and choose something different.

Use This

Next time you and your body contract.

Gently ask:

• Is this mine?

• Does this still feel true now?

• What would I choose if I trusted myself completely?

Then breathe.
Let your energy expand.
Let yourself take up space.
See how your body responds when it’s given choice.

You’re Not Selfish—You’re Aware

What if putting yourself first isn’t wrong—it’s wise?

What if honoring your yes and your no creates more clarity, connection, and care—for you, and for everyone around you?

You don’t have to prove your worth through self-sacrifice.
You don’t need to hold the weight of old rules that never were true for you..
You can simply notice what feels light, what expands you, and choose from there.

Ready to explore what your body’s been holding and what’s ready to shift?

Let’s meet the patterns with curiosity, without judgment—and discover what’s possible when you choose you.

Book a discovery call and let’s begin.